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Shit is a weapon

Blind Bowler Rolls Perfect Game

blind bowler

The Church of Joe salutes Dale Davis on a remarkable accomplishment. The 78 year old blind World War II vet, rolled his first perfect game last week. Nicknamed the Hammer, this 115 pound tyrant of the waxed-wood hurled his 15 pound rock down the lanes 12 times, scoring strike every time.

The variation in sound as his ball makes contact with the pins allows Davis to sometimes “see” what type of shot he had without actually laying eyes upon it.

“The sounds of the alley let me know how I’m doing,” Davis said of his hearing. “There’s a loud crack when I get a strike. When I hear that crack, usually it’s followed by someone telling me I can sit down.

“Saturday night, all I heard was 12 cracks in a row.”

Those 12 consecutive cracks also lifted a burden off Davis’ shoulders. With bowling such an important part of his life, Davis said it was good to finally reach his goal of getting that elusive 300 game.

Click here to read the whole story.

Monkey Yoga

Monkey YogaThis morning, while you were enjoying that stack of flapjacks, there was a monkey in Africa with the body of a young Tom Selleck moving farther down the path of self improvement.

More Catfish Covers

The cover versions of I’m a Little Catfish just keep rolling in…

Today for Lunch: Hulka-Burger!

hulk hogan burger

Man does not live on Flapsticks alone so for lunch today we dug deep into the freezer and pulled out this gem. We can’t find a legible expiration date anywhere but gauging from the pic of the Hulkster on the box, this afternoon might get a little interesting.

More Awesome Than You.

awesome kid

There was a time and place, long ago that this kid was the envy of all around him. It’s not just about the acid wash, popped collar or the minitruck mullet. No, it’s the little things, like the directors chair and the nose diving model airplane that make this kid truly rad.

I’m a Little Catfish - Cover Versions

Like a neon green patch of crab grass, I’m a Little Catfish Fever is sweeping the globe. Young and old from all walks of life are grabbing their twangers and putting their own spin on the JoeCartoon acoustic masterpiece. Take these two young ladies for instance…

Or these two young hippies…

Want to cut a version of your own? Click here to watch the original, then turn on that video camera and let er rip. We even posted tabs for you can learn the geetar parts.

Beer Casket

beer casket

Bill Bramanti of Illinois loves his PBR. So much so that his last wish is to have his corpse encased in a giant Pabst Blue Ribbon shaped capsule and buried in a hole 6 feel under ground. Until that fateful day happens though, Bill is content to use the vessel as cooler for his beloved beverage.

After letting that sink in a little, our last wish of being cremated and stuffed into the stomach of an octopus and thrown onto the ice at The Joe after the Wings score the go-ahead goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, seems fairly normal.

Click here for the full story

Happy No Pants Day!

No Pants Day!The first Friday in May is International No Pants Day! The one day of the year Jeb Greenfield is on the cutting edge of style. Celebrate with us by shedding those wide-wales and let yer kneecaps shine!

Rock out this Friday!

Chunder CovenWe promised Vickie in accounting that we’d circulate this memo, so here ‘goes…

Hi everyone! Just a reminder that my son Todd’s band, Chunder Cöven will be playing this Friday at the Whitecloud National Guard Armory. The boys will be debuting some songs from their new concept album, “Bleach Thirsty” and will be filming portions of the show for a possible DVD release. They’ll be hitting the stage about 6:30, right before the Foxy-Boxing matches. Also, be sure to get there early as there will be door prizes, including a brand new Cherry Bomb Glass-Pack Muffler kit. Hope to see you all there!!! 

JoeCartoon Sketchbook: Pushups

National Honesty Day

April 30th is National Honesty Day. So in the spirit of this day, use the comments section below to get something off your chest. Be honest and tell us what you really think, about anything at all. So, to kick things off, we’d just like to say yes, your ass does looks fat in those jeans, and your hair kind of smells like vegetable soup. We’ve never really liked you as a person, and you blink way too much when you talk.

Find Joe

Here’s a little test for you. See how fast you can spot Joe in this family photo from the early days. We’ll post the answer later in the week.

Joetivation…

revolution

JoeCartoon Hot Tip: Sauna Hot Pants

Swimsuit season is almost here so why not get that caboose in shape now with a pair of Wonder Sauna Hot Pants? These are the workout drawers of choice for many around the JoeCartoon complex. Some wear them over their everyday work clothes while other, more adventuresome types, like to wear them with nothing at all! Because nothing says fitness quite like a hot sweaty pair of inflatable rubber short pants.

Cat Found

Cat Found

UK Unveils New UGC Logo

OGC LogoOGC Logo Upright So imagine you’re an advertising agency and you’ve been selected to design a new logo for a department of the UK Treasury. I’m sure you’d want to design something simple and conservative. Maybe you’d use a nice sans serif font, and deliver a clean understated design that would appeal to even the most stodgiest of critics. Or, you could just create an image of a snowman jackin’ it and call it a day. Click here to read all about it.

JoeCartoon Endorses: Nutball!

Man oh man, does seeing this game bring back memories! We can’t tell you how many sunny afternoons we killed by taking turns bashing all comers with racks and racks of well placed bowling balls to the pixelated man sack. NutBall makes some of these games today look like nothing more than steaming cups of wussified nancy-lad sippin’ tea.

Putting the Eewwww Back in News…

Old person orgy

Inhale You Must